PERSONAL LEADERSHIP: JUST KEEP ON WALKING

Last week I had a lovely date; a date with a group of first year students as I presented to them a guest lecture on Personal Leadership at the Hogeschool Utrechtƒ??s Institute for Business Administration thanks to the very kind invitation of lecturer and co-ordinator, Alex Asampong.

My discussion was accompanied by a short powerpoint presentation in which I first shared the principles underlying the work that we do at the Centre for Excellent Leadership.

Underlying principle 1: Equal Value

The first principle is that of equal value – that although we fulfil different functions or roles in our workplaces, families and wherever we are involved in society, we are all unique individuals and therefore equal in value.

This principle I always find the hardest one to not only grasp, but to consistently apply, and yet is so important in effectively connecting with others. Our society is made up of so many hierarchical structures and we have often been brought up to believe that we are either superior or inferior to others, depending on the context. For this purpose I asked the class how many of them were busy dating. Surprised at my question, a few raised their hands. I also asked how many were busy applying, or have applied for job or internship positions in the past. Another few raised their hands in agreement.

I shared how I discovered that these two life events, dating and job interviews, have much in common with each other. I used to go into them with uncertainty rooted in a feeling of inferiority, which caused me to ‘perform’: to act in ways that I thought the other person would expect me to behave in order to impress him/her, when all that is really needed for a date or an interview to be successful, is for me to be myself, no matter whether I get the guy or whether I get the job!

Once I was able to realise how valuable I am for exactly who I am, I realised the value of just being myself, and that that is what ensures the ‘fit’ and the ‘flow’ over the longer term: fitting comfortably with the direction in which the relationship or the organisation wants to go, and things then flowing spontaneously in that direction. Without fit, there can be no flow. 

Underlying principle 2: Awareness

The next principle I shared is that of awareness – that I only become aware of development areas in my life if I ask for and am open to receiving feedback from my environment. I illustrated this point with the help of the Johari window, where feedback increases my awareness and reduces my blind spots.  It is not easy to receive criticism, and often it’s also not easy to receive praise, however such feedback can prove to be very valuable in the process of change.

Underlying principle 3: Taking Responsibility

Awareness is very powerful; however it has only limited effect unless I apply the next principle – taking responsibility for its implications. I came across the following quote: ‘If you do what you always did, you’ll get what you always got.’ And the catalyst for change cannot lie outside of me. If I don’t take the first step towards thinking differently and consequently doing differently, I won’t take the final step, which is deciding what I want and consequently acting differently than before in order to get it.

Kolb Learning Cycle

To this end, the Learning Cycle of Kolb illustrates the value of applying these principles in order to achieve change. Change does not happen unless I reflect on feedback received, formulate a new concept which I then go and test by experimenting with it, in turn causing new concrete experiences to provide a basis for further reflection and improvement. Successfully implementing change in one’s life and work means simply keeping on walking through this learning cycle over and over again.

Knowing the Direction and Taking the First Step

All that is then still required, is knowing the direction in which you want to go. In this regard I also came upon this quote: 'If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.'

This was when I challenged the students to pull out pen and paper and consider and write down their own personal answers to 23 questions that were grouped into the following four categories of questions, on any issue that they struggle with in life:

1.       What direction do you want to go to?

2.       What do you already have at your disposal that can help you get there?

3.       What are your different possible options?

4.       Which of these do you intend to implement?

Afterwards the students agreed that the process of answering the questions had raised their awareness and responsibility regarding their identified issue, and that it was good to have put it to paper in this way, because it caused them to feel more motivated to take that first step and do something about it.

And that, I believe, is what Personal Leadership is about: just keeping on walking.

I enjoyed my date at the Hogeschool Utrecht, and I was even blessed with this beautiful bunch of flowers. I very much look forward to the next date!